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Duck Byte: Transparency in Government

daffy_duck-expostulatingQ: Are you in favour of greater transparency in local government?

A: No. I’ve done a great deal of research on this issue and I’ve come to a startling but obvious conclusion. What we need is less transparency!

I have long been concerned with the threat posed by mirror-clean windows to my avian constituents, dozens of whom are seriously injured or killed every year flying into them. When elected, I will immediately halt the cleaning of windows at City Hall and other municipal buildings to ensure the safety and security of Ottawa’s bird population.

But that’s not all…

For a start, I calculate that the City will save something like $250,000 annually by firing all the window washers. And allowing the windows of municipal buildings to crust over with a layer of light grey grime will not only reflect away summer sunshine taking a load off of air conditioning systems, but add a winter insulation factor of R=0.000042. Taken together and applied across all City properties, those factors could produce an annual operations fund saving of over $19!


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