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Post Mortem: Ottawa has No Sense of Humour…

Duck DefiantIt is often said that Ottawa, both as a cultural and a corporate entity, has no sense of humour. We take ourselves too seriously. Our over- arching sense of sombre reserve is known far and wide. We will never be crowned Canada’s ‘Fun City’, no matter how rich and diverse our store may be in arts and entertainment treasures.

It has become abundantly clear to the team of under-utilized writers and artists, idle comic talents and superannuated newsies behind the Duck for Mayor 2014! Campaign that the old, grey stereotype is a sad reality. Ottawa Media People and Politicians have no sense of humour. At least when it comes to peeking in the Fun House Mirror.

Duck for Mayor 2014! attempted to display this fall’s Ottawa municipal election campaign in the exaggerating, sometimes distorting, often dark mirror of Satire. Nobody got the joke. Or, more likely, they took one look and didn’t like what they saw. Only one intrepid reporter deigned to approach his dour old editor with a brief item about the DFM2014! website. Many thanks, Citizen scribe Norm Provencher!

We smeared no one. We even expressed grudging admiration for incumbent Jim Watson. We showed no mercy, however, where we thought City policies or certain campaign issues needed sending up.

Alexander Pope, Jonathan Swift, Oscar Wilde, George Orwell or Evelyn Waugh we ain’t. But we believed, and still do believe, that we are very good at what we do. And we proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Ottawa really does have no sense of humour.

At least we at DFM2014! now know why we’re all unemployed.

If you disagree with our diagnosis, comment to this post!

Come on! We Double-Duck-Dare yah!

‘Pebbles Flintstone-Rubble’
Communications Director
Duck for Mayor 2014!


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For those Duck fans who still need some kind of closure before they can finally move on…

All of us on the Strategy and Policy Committee wish to express our thanks for your interest in the Duck Campaign.

Duck Head MasterOur Hero!

If we gave beleaguered media types trying to keep up with the municipal election race a few moments of amusement here and there, or made folks think more seriously about some of the real issues in the election, we’ve done what we set out to do.

We had a blast and we hope you did, too!

Our thanks, too, to the legions of faceless nerds who keep the WWW up and running 24/7/365. Without your amazing communications medium, we would not have been able to play on the same field as the Big Money contenders.

And… If any of the currently-unemployed Artists, Writers, Web Designers or Programmers who worked on the Duck Project ends up getting a job out of it – all the better!

We’ll continue to monitor all the Duck e-mail accounts for an undetermined period of time. After all, they’re paid-up for a full year. Waste not, want not! Serious inquiries only, please.

What the heck! – we’ll keep the whole site up indefinitely. Duck is a rare avis among non-human politicians. He’s not done, yet and he’s already warned announced that he’ll be making policy statements and issuing edicts on just about any issue that comes up before the next Council!

Oh, yah… And we swear that, at no time during the preparation and execution of the Duck Project, did we allow ourselves to fall into a drunken stupor.

~ The Team

That's All Folks!… At least for the election!
Stay t-t-tuned!


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Duck thanks Supporters…

Duck DumbfoundedDarrel Daffy Duck today publicly thanked his Campaign Team, Volunteers and many Supporters for their hard work and dedication in his recent unsuccessful run for Mayor of Ottawa.

“We was robbed!” Duck assured followers in a closed-circuit Webcast this morning from the Palm Springs estate of his lifelong friend, Elmer Fudd. “We fought a good fight and our own polls showed we had it in the bag until fate stepped in and made all my votes disappear like the military ballots in Florida in 2000.”

Webcast viewers opined as Duck looked tired and agreed that his speech was even more slurred than usual, sparking speculation, completely unfounded according to Campaign Manager George Jungle, that he was in a drunken stupor.

Duck lamented the timing of his run for Mayor.

“As a society, we have come a long way in the past 100 years in terms of our respect for and treatment of People of Colour. Some of my best friends are people. But it appears the time is not yet right for a Black Duck to run for municipal office.”

Duck thanked his campaign workers and supporters warmly and assured them he is not bowing out of public life just yet.

“I’ll still be hanging around City Hall as usual. Stop by anytime and say hello at my unofficial office in the Atrium, by the ceremonial pool.”


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Duck Defeated! Fraud at Polls!

Flocks of Duck supporters awoke this morning to the realization that their candidate for Mayor of Ottawa had his goose cooked before things even started to heat up at the Municipal Election polls yesterday.

“I couldn’t believe it!” Duck erupted, in an out-of-control rant outside his neighbourhood polling place yesterday morning. “I arrived at the poll to cast my votes for Mayor and Council only to find my name was neither on the voter’s list nor on the ballot!”

Elections Ottawa issued a statement to the effect that, if Duck had actually wanted to run officially, he should have filed papers like all the other candidates for City Council and School Board positions.

Ruffled Feathers

Duck explodes in a uncontrollable stress moult.

“It’s dethpicable!” Duck thundered, convulsing in a severe stress molt, feathers flying in every direction. No bystanders were injured.

“I am reliably advised, by a little bird within the City’s election machine, that many write-in votes for me were officially ruled ‘spoiled’ and not counted,” Duck charged. “This is the biggest, most outrageous instance of fraud at the polls since some guy named Chad hung up on the Democrats in Florida in 2000!”

Duck departed early this morning, by air, for an indefinite stay at the Palm Springs estate of his longtime friend, fellow retired animation star Elmer Fudd, to recuperate in restful seclusion from the shock of this completely unexpected, devastating loss.


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No matter whom you like best
for whatever position…

Get out and VOTE
for them today!

Duck ExpostulatingThat’s what it’s all about!


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Duck wraps up Campaign with a Bang!

Duck JoyOttawa Mayoral candidate Darrel Duck wrapped up his official campaign today with a final address to the faithful in the Atrium at City Hall.

“By thith time Monday, we will be well on our way to victory! I can feel it in my boneth!” shouted a fiesty Duck, exhibiting the slight lisp that has become his oratorical trademark when he’s really on a roll.

The capacity crowd went wild with approval, pulsing with enthusiasm, pushing those at its outer extremities into the ceremonial pool. No bystanders were seriously injured.

“The campaign ith over, but we mutht not thit back thmugly and gloat – jutht yet! We mutht all work to get voterth out to the pollth tomorrow and enthure the clear majority we all know we detherve!”

Indeed, pre-election-day polls commissioned by the Duck organization showed the candidate leading all other contenders by 25 points.

“Woo Woo! Woo Woo!” Duck hooted, possibly attempting to provoke a cheer from the crowd. Campaign Manager George Jungle assured assembled media representatives that the candidate was not, at that time, in a drunken stupor.

It was at that moment that the candidate blew himself up spectacularly with six sticks of dynamite and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. A few seconds later, however, he reappeared, adjusting his bill but apparently unscathed, and wearing the same suit, wading into the crowd from the rear, shaking wings and waving triumphantly to the television cameras.

“Onward to victory!” Duck exhorted his Followers. “You’ll all have offitheth thomewhere in thith building by nextht Eathter, my friendth!”


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